Should You Discuss Your Estate Plan With Your Family?

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When you make an estate plan, you have to decide what to share with your family. There are both pros and cons of having a conversation with your loved ones about your plans and you should think carefully about the upsides and downsides when you decide what’s best for you.

Whatever you decide, the key is to make sure you have your plans in place because otherwise you could leave your loved ones in a difficult position.  To decide what’s best for your situation, here are the pros and cons of discussing your plans with your family members.

estate planning family

Benefits of discussing your estate plan with your loved ones

Here are some of the biggest advantages of discussing your plans with your loved ones:

  • You can make sure your family is prepared in the event of your death:  At a minimum, it is typically a good idea to let your family members know that you have made a plan and to alert them as to what documents and tools you have used. You can tell your family, for example, that you are making a last will and testament and that you have created a living will that specifies what types of medical care you want to accept and what kinds of medical care you want to decline. By alerting your family that these documents exist, they’ll know to refer to them when you become incapacitated or after you pass on.
  • You can help your family to understand your wishes. Estate planning deals with many sensitive matters. You can use tools like a will or trust to determine who should inherit your assets. You can also specify things like what kinds of extraordinary measures should be used to prolong your life or who should be the guardian of your children after you pass on. If your family is not in agreement with some of your decisions on these issues, they may not understand the choices you make or may be resentful of the instructions you have left behind. If you discuss these issues with them in advance, you can reduce the chances of upset or anger because you can explain the reasoning behind the choices that you make.
  • You can increase the chances your wishes will be respected without conflict. If your loved ones are displeased with the plans that you have made, they have options after you pass. They might be able to take steps like contesting your last will and testament or even contesting a trust. As many as 3% of wills are contested in the United States, according to BlueNotary. You can reduce the chances of this happening if you let them know upfront what you are planning and you give them the chance to understand your actions. These types of conflicts can break down family bonds after you pass and can be expensive to resolve, so it’s often better to try to head them off by addressing your family’s concerns during your lifetime.
  • You can make sure your family is on board with certain key decisions. Obviously, you do not need anyone’s input on issues like how you distribute your assets. You have the right to do this in a way that makes sense for you. However, there are some estate planning issues you should discuss with your family first. For example, if you are going to name someone to be the guardian of your minor children or if you are going to appoint someone to take care of your pets, you’ll want to have a conversation with that person first to ensure they are on board with your plans. It may also make sense to talk with someone who you are planning to give power of attorney to or who you are planning to name as the executor of your will so that you can ensure they are willing to serve in these roles.

These are all important reasons why it can make good sense to involve your loved ones in some aspects of your estate planning process, or at least to discuss the plans you are making with them.

Disadvantages of discussing your estate plan with your family

There are also some disadvantages of sharing details about your estate plan with your loved ones and those should be considered too. Here are some downsides:

  • You could become involved in conflict during your lifetime. If your loved ones are not happy with the choices you are making, this could lead to family conflict. You may find that your relationship is impacted adversely by the fact you are making estate planning decisions that make your family unhappy.
  • You could face pressure to change your mind. If your loved ones wish that you were making different choices, you could end up facing pressure to make decisions that are different from the ones that you would prefer. It can be hard to withstand this pressure, but you don’t want to give up the chance to make your own choices about your assets or about the incapacity plans that you are making.

Often, the best way to reduce this type of conflict and to mitigate the disadvantages is to be smart about what information you share and who you share it with. You might decide to tell your family a little bit about the tools you are using and to discuss some of your choices with them but not others. Or you may opt not to tell them anything at all, other than where to find your important estate planning documents when you pass.

Ultimately, the choice is yours. The most important thing, though, is that you put your plans in place and make sure that your wishes are respected. McGee Law Firm can help. Contact us today at 817-899-3286  or contact us online to schedule a consultation and learn more about how we can help you to make a comprehensive, enforceable, and detailed plan that leaves you with the secure legacy that you and your loved ones deserve.  

Brandon McGee
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